Dys last night, venting about work after I got home from the gym:
“Mary got a cortisone shot in her injured arm and now she’s so nauseated she can barely move. Oh, and Susan is on the road back from vacation, so I had to cover for her, too. I had to be three people today.”
Me:
“You’re three chicks? … Can I nail you?”
Filed under: Life and other states of existence, sex, War Between the Sexes |
The Taoist Biker 
That’s right, ladies. Stand back. He’s alllllll mine.
Well, between the post and your comment, I DID receive 43 emails offering to jump my bones, and three penis enlargement ads to help them be able to find said bones.
I’m just sayin’.
Three chicks. Considering your, ah, tool time and current inventory that makes total sense! That way your daily dame disappointment average (DDDA) is 33 1/3rd! Way below the 100% average.
Geez, let me check my calendar. Yep, it is Shit On TB Day SOTBD).
Glad I didn’t miss it.
Yep, three at once would allow me to get a good solid three months’ worth of DDD out of the way at one time!
Hey, if you miss this SOTBD, another one will come around in a few weeks. No biggie!
A few weeks, you say? Let me look. There’s Frighten Parents Of Random Children Week (I miss when it was the entire month. Damn restraining orders really put a crimp in members); Ask Strangers Directions Then Go In The Opposite Direction Day; Make Fun Of That Hippie Freak MTAE Da. . .ooops. . .wait. . .that’s been upgraded to a Daily; and Ask Old Ladies In The Produce Aisle To Thump My Mellon (If You Catch My Drift) Day.
Sorry, TB, looks like today was your day.
Oh wait, were you talking about Ride A Motorcycle With Bicycle Shorts On Day?
Was that today, too?
Fuck.
Another one you say? Let me check my calendar. There’s Frighten Parents Of Nearby Children Day (I miss when that was the entire month but you wouldn’t believe how much restraining orders crimp the membership); Ask Old Ladies In The Produce Aisle To Thump My Mellon (If You Catch My Drift) Day; Make Fun Of That Hippie Freak MTAE Da. . .opps. . .that’s been upgraded to Daily; Ask Strangers For Directions Then Drive Away In The Opposite Direction Day; and Scream ‘Fire’ In A Crowded Burn Unit Hour but I don’t see anything pertaining to you.
Oh wait, are you participating in Ride Your Motorcycle Wearing Bicycle Shorts Day?
Opps. I thought I’d lost that. So, pick one you like and trash the rest.
I said to BP yesterday, “Honey, on our way home tomorrow, let’s go pick up chicks!” To which, he just stared at me. Then, I clarified by saying, “I meant the peeps kind!” (you know, the egg laying kind). BP then said, “You know, I knew you meant the peeps kind. The other kind didn’t even cross my mind. How sad is that?”
Alas, no new peeps yet. He didn’t want to go pick up chicks.
Yep. That is SO SAD – and yet completely familiar.
You are SO romantic! LOL.
Thankya thankya.