Movies to Watch While Intoxicated

It’s been a beautiful day here so far, a break from the ridiculous heat of the past few weeks.  This morning was a gorgeous, low-60s low-humidity experience of the sort that makes me ache for a motorcycle again.  Stunning.

Anyway, in honor of 8-8-08, I wanted to offer this little tidbit:  Eight Movies To Watch While Intoxicated.

I’ve been thinking about this for some time, actually.  These are lists of movies that I not necessarily don’t enjoy while sober, but definitely have enjoyed a lot more while decidedly un-sober.  I considered a bunch and have crossed off quite a few possibly worthy contenders, but surely I’ve blanked on a TON more.  So go ahead, argue with my choices and suggest some others, it’ll be fun!

Mayhap I’ll participate in a little recreational imbibing and cinemaphilia tonight, even…

I can (and will, with little or no provocation) spout off the praises of each of these movies at length, complete with quote after quote after quote, but I’ll try to restrain myself in the blog itself.  Get me started in the comments, however, and you’re taking big risks!

In no particular order:

Tombstone
“Ah’m yuh huckleberry.”

A highly underrated badass movie.  C’mon, that cast is a murderer’s row of badasses (look at the cast list, ferfuxake) doin’ badass things and saying hellaciously quotable things while doing so.   A quotable movie is a great drunken movie.  (For this reason, MST3K is also even more hysterical while inebriated, but that’s a whole different category.)

And as a complete bonus, Dana Delany looks hot in this movie.  Mmm-hmm.  You know it.

Big Trouble in Little China
“Like I told my last wife, ‘Honey, I never drive faster than I can see, and besides that, it’s all in the reflexes.'”

No, I’m not a Kurt Russell fanatic, but this one is a camp classic, b’gawd.  I first saw this movie when I was about 13 or 14 and knew it was campy then, I just didn’t care.  All that martial-arts-legendary-magic stuff with a heavy frosting of cornball humor was right up my alley.

Hard Target
“Now why don’t you take your peeg-steecker, and your boyfren’, and find a bus to catch?”

Face/Off was probably the better John Woo film, and certainly has the WAY over-the-top performances by Cage & Travolta, but this movie is more laughably awesome.  For some reason Wilford Brimley as Uncle Douvee just slays me.  “Good whiskey make jack rabbit slap de bear!”  And Lance Henriksen makes a great villain.

Predator
“I ain’t got time to bleed.”

Truthfully, pretty much any action movie is better watched drunk than sober, but this is a great one.  Not much plot except to show people getting whacked, left right and center.  And occasionally having Arnold flex.  With a few shots and a few pals, it still makes for a few hours of fun.

Highlander
“Nuns.  No sense of humor.”

While the concept is great, you have to admit that a lot of this movie is kinda crappy, and it certainly hasn’t aged well.  Hell, the TV show put it to shame.  But again, with a few shots, you don’t notice the crap, you just notice the kickassness underneath.  There can be only ONE!

Clue
“I hated her, so much… it-it- the f – it -flam – flames. Flames, on the side of my face, breathing-breathl- heaving breasts…”

Let’s face it, Clue is awesome anytime, night or day, drunk or sober.  But the last time I watched it I was a wee bit tipsy, and I laughed even harder than usual, so I’m puttin’ it on the list.

Army of Darkness
“THIS…is my boomstick!”

Any questions?  Hell no, there are no questions.

Snakes on a Plane
“I say, old bean, I’m rather flummoxed by the presence of these serpents on board our aircraft.”

Sober:  Meh.  Drunk:  Teh awesomestest1!1!! movie evar!!1!1!!!!

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There’s eight – let the arguments begin!