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Here are some of the things I’ve learned in the past 72 hours.

Things I Can’t Do With My Cast

  • Wash my right arm
  • Put soap on a washcloth (good thing I had that Axe shower gel)
  • Wash dishes
  • Operate the windshield wipers on my car worth a shit
  • Play Xbox
  • Play guitar
  • Make a decent sandwich (I can do it, but it’s a lot more difficult than you might think, and I end up doing a shitty job, so Dys has taken over lunch duty)
  • Eat anything that requires cutting with knife and fork (no steak dinner for me on my bday weekend!)
  • Pour muffin batter into the muffin pan
  • Work out
  • Lift boxes at work
  • Change my earrings
  • Wear anything with long sleeves terminating in cuffs (which limits my coat options)

Things I Can Still Do

  • Shower
  • Feed myself
  • Drive
  • Wash my right armpit (can get that part, at least.Β  My coworkers are surely relieved.)
  • Go to the bathroom unassisted
  • Do laundry
  • Go grocery shopping
  • Get dressed
  • Tie my shoes (that one pleasantly surprised me)
  • Shave (though it’s harder and takes longer, so I’m doing it at night in the sink instead of in the morning in the shower
  • Tell the injury story over…and over…and over…Β  (I appreciate the sympathy, but dang, the story’s old already.)
  • Type – woohoo!

10 Responses

  1. On the can’t do list – Dys can cut your steak up for ya, and there’s nothing wrong with your legs Mister, so exercise is not out of the question. πŸ˜€ Sounds like you’re doing okay, all things considering, glad to hear it!

    Cuz her cutting my steak won’t make me feel like I’m 5?

    And with Dys as my witness, swear to gawd, when the nurse was giving me my discharge instructions I asked her about working out, and she said I might want to lay off for at least the first week. I said, “Even a bike? Not using my arms?” She said she’d still lay off until next week. I SW’AR.

  2. Well hey, at least you can type!

    Yeah, the interweb would implode if I STFU for two whole weeks! πŸ˜€

  3. I’m impressed by the armpit washing…that’s some real talent!

    Got just enough flex in my right elbow & wrist to get there.

    Glad you’re still typing.

    Me too, and I bet Dys as well. Can you imagine if she was the only one who got to hear two weeks’ worth of my random bullshit? She’d be surfing the yellow pages for divorce lawyers or defense lawyers within 48 hours.

  4. This makes you a “right hand wiper,” huh? It is all about the bathroom for me.

    Yep. And a good thing, too. I think Dys said the other day, “We should all teach our children to wipe with both hands from a young age just to prepare them for shit like this.”

  5. But, TB, I bet you CAN use a soup ladle to ladle batter into the muffin pan. And, well, nothing is wrong with your legs, so after the week is up, hit the treadmill (or pavement). (They want you to lay off because of the drugs they gave you, I’m sure.)

    Also, BP cuts everybody’s steak up in our house. At first, I was highly insulted. After all, I’m not 5 nor am I likely to stab him to death with a steak knife (I’d use something bigger and better! πŸ˜‰ ) But, I got used to that quirk. If I can adjust, you can survive one steak dinner having your meat pre-cut. Well, unless your ego is so huge it won’t allow you to enjoy some meat.

    That last line is BEGGING for all sorts of 12-year-old boy jokes. πŸ˜€

    I’ve only taken 2 painkillers and will probably not take any more – I only feel anything if I try to move my thumb inside the cast. Just sitting here, I feel just hunky-dory. The lady said she didn’t want me exercising because she didn’t want all my sutures & tendons being jarred around. Next week I’m hitting a stationary bike.

  6. And you can still keep up your blog!

    I saw this and thought of you…

    You flatter me by comparing me to the dude in the article, man. Thanks for coming by, Thor…stop in anytime!

  7. This is what I get for leaving blogging for 3 months? YOU, in a cast!!! Gahhh…hope your all fixed up soon!

    It was all your fault, Romi. I was carving away, thinking, “Gosh, I wonder when Romi’s gonna post again…hey, I’m bleeding!” πŸ˜‰

    Glad you’re back. I’ll be fine eventually. Step 1 is getting the cast off 2 weeks from today!

  8. You can tie your shoes with one hand? Impressive.

    I have to use the fingers on the other hand, but it turns out I can kinda halfassed pinch the lace between my left fingers enough to tie them. Not as tightly as I normally would, but it works.

    I was quite surprised that I could pull it off.

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