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Not even funny. Well, kinda.

Sunday I was washing dishes and had the radio on in the kitchen, like I normally do.  Usually I keep flipping the ten presets and whichever one is actually playing music, wins – until such time as they’re not playing music.  (This usually results in a whole lot of preset-flipping.  Have I mentioned how much I love my mp3 mix cds in my car?)

For whatever reason, maybe I was in the middle of washing a big pot or something, I actually caught a commercial this time.  Once I heard the first few seconds, I actually had to listen to the end.  I’m sure I’m not getting it all exactly right, but seriously folks, something VERY similar to this went out on the air.

Female voice:  Size matters, size matters, size matters!  Guys, you know that it’s really true – for us girls, size really does matter.  And it’s not so much length – us ladies really like that full feeling that only comes with width and thickness.  That’s why you should try [product]!  [Product] is the only medication proven to increase width and thickness.  We’re so convinced that you’ll love it that we’ll send you a free sample in the mail.  Try [product] today, and find the self-confidence you’ve always wanted!

As I stood there, open-mouthed that such a thing would actually go out on the air…it was followed by a diamond commercial.



7 Responses

  1. Advertising bothers me on many levels, but that? Is downright blatant.

    Coulda been worse. They could have said, “You have a tiny dick, don’t you? You know it. Your girlfriend is thinking about leaving you for a more well-hung guy RIGHT NOW.

  2. Ha! I’ve heard that commercial before!

    Also, whenever I see a commercial on TV (or hear a commercial on the radio) for diamond jewelry, I always follow it with, “Diamonds. That’ll shut her up.”

    I like that ripped ad I posted a long while back – a diamond ad that someone’s replaced the text with “With this she might let you stick it in her pooper.”

  3. There was a problem with this? 😀

    This is me flipping you off.

  4. It does, however, remind me of that movie (I can’t remember the name) where the advertising guy decided to tell the truth instead of dancing around what they meant.

    “Metamucil. It makes you go to the bathroom.”

  5. That commercial gets A LOT of play on the satellite radio talk channels…the music channels have NO COMMERCIALS…I didn’t imagine it would make it to the commercial airwaves though!

    You want to hear something funny? I heard a similar commercial for the same product – but with a male voice this time – later that afternoon. On the R&B radio station. Insert stereotype-joke here.

  6. Some of the shows on my DVR record at 3 am. These are usually reruns of comedies, such as WINGS. Sometimes I go to the kitchen or bathroom rather than fast forwarding the commercials and without fail, there is ALWAYS a rather descriptive commercial for a Viagra-type medication starring people 70 and older. VERY disturbing.

    How descriptive does it really have to be, when you think about it?

  7. It must be the same company that spams me and promises to make my schlong bigger.

    Did you ask them if they meant “yours” as in “your husband’s?” Because if you taking the pills makes HIS bigger, then them’s some STRONG pills.

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