Snap Decisions

You ever have one of those things that you thought about doing for years and years, and one day you just finally snap and say “By god, I’m doing it, right now?”  That was yesterday.

I had planned to work out again yesterday, but along about 4:00 I suddenly thought to myself, “You know what?  I think I’ll go get my ears pierced instead.”  And here normally if I talked about a pair of 12ga’s, I’d have been talking about shotguns.

I’d been all behind picking up a piercing or three for some years now, but as weird as this may sound, I was held up a little bit because I felt I’d be a little more comfortable with a female piercer than a male one.  The piercers in the tattoo parlor I patronize are all dudes, and I just didn’t have the right vibe about them.  So when my boss came in one day rolling her eyes and complaining about waiting in line behind a guy and a gal that were blatantly hitting on each other and asking who did each other’s piercings, causing my boss to say “Well, apparently Amy is the person to if you want a good piercing,” she assuredly had no idea that she was pouring Miracle-Gro on one of my mental seeds.  I did some reading up on the piercer and the shop, and I was sold.  It was a matter of time.  (And maybe possibly an itsy bitsy bit of which piercing to get first.)

So fast-forward a few weeks and I’m sitting at my desk late in the afternoon and suddenly get the idea that “Hmm.  Yep, fuck it, today’s the day.  Dys won’t expect me home until 6:30; I can be done and back by then anyway.”  I didn’t really second-guess it much beyond that – I knew my dad might not be all that happy, my grandparents and Dys’s whole family much less so, but screw it.  I’m 35 years old, nobody’s supporting my ass, and I ain’t answering to nobody anymore.

I didn’t pull the BIG surprise, though.  I did in fact walk to the car, call Dys, and tell her that unless she had a big problem with it I was going to go do it.  After recovering from her brief shock, and asking the obvious “are you sure you’ll still think this is a good idea tomorrow?” questions, she was all for it.  So I drove past the gym and kept going over to the “funky” side of town where the tattoo/piercing shops congregate.

As it turned out, Amy wasn’t in, but her former apprentice Natalie (who I’d seen on the web site) was.  Despite the fact that she has a septum piercing, which I personally don’t think looks particularly good on anyone, she was pretty cute.  (Not to go too TMI, but that made the questions I had to ask about other potential piercings a bit more interesting, I admit.  I came home and told Dys a joke I almost told Natalie, and another thing that came out of the discussion, and she was appropriately amused and boggled, respectively.)

Apparently normally they start ear piercings with 3/8″ 16ga.  This seemed a little too effeminate for yours truly, so after pondering a bit between 10ga and 12ga, I took the wussier alternative and went with the 12’s in 1/2″ diameter.  I had intended some titanium circular barbells, but they didn’t have any in stock, so for the time being I went with steel captive bead rings, thinking that maybe after these heal up then I’ll go to the titanium in the 10ga.  Natalie asked, “Is there any particular reason you want titanium?  Allergies or something like that?”  “Uh, no,” I said, “I’m a motorcycle geek.  If you had carbon fiber I’d be taking that instead.”

So, to make a long story short, ([Clue]”Too late!!”[/Clue]) she sat me down, showed me the sterile envelopes etc., used some calipers to measure exactly where to place them and showed me her little dots in the mirror, and situated herself on my left.  She asked if I preferred to sit or lie down on the table, and I said “I think I’d rather sit.  I’m not trying to be all macho about it, I honestly think I’d feel more helpless or something if I was lying down!”  She got a little chuckle out of that one.  “If you can sit through being tattooed, this is easy.”  “Yeah, my first tattoo session was about five hours.”  “WHOA.  Yeah, this’ll be cake for you.”  So (after admiring my tattoo for a second), she told me to take the deep inhale/big exhale.

My impressions?  1)  Damn, that was HARDLY bad.  2)  It was over so quickly I wonder how so many people can really consider getting pierced as a rush.  3)  Admittedly, that was a bit more of a “tearing” sensation than the sharp jab I was expecting!

She moved around and repeated the process on the right.  This time I knew more what was coming, and surprisingly that made it neither better nor worse.  Afterward, I was pretty stoked, but admittedly feeling the aftereffects of foolishly not having eaten something beforehand since a sandwich six hours beforehand.  I sat down for a few minutes, feeling a bit lightheaded, while Natalie kindly got me a cup of water and a piece of candy.  In five minutes I was feeling better, so I tipped her and headed home.

Dys greeted me almost at the door.  “It looks good, babe!” she said.  “Actually, it sets off your bald head.”  Heh.  My son did his typical amusedly-overdramatic exclamation:  “You have earrings?!?!?  Did it hurt you badly?”  “Hurt, yes; badly, no.”  Of course, he expressed a vague interest, which we told him to put off for several more years.  (I’m thinking a minimum of 9.)  I called my parents, and surprisingly my dad laughed at the idea rather than being pissed.  My mom, getting over the shock, wanted to see pictures.  When I emailed her this morning, she said that she had to admit they suited me.  (Which, NYAH to you for keeping me from doing it 20 years ago, ma!)

Honestly, I think they do suit me.  In a very strange way I have a little weight on my head and feeling something moving around back there feels a bit like having hair again.  Which I think makes no sense whatsoever, but there it is.

Nonetheless, I sat through an hour of work, an hour-and-a-half staff meeting in which I spent roughly half the time doing all the talking, and a mini-conference afterward with my boss and favorite coworker and nobody noticed. I finally told my favorite coworker, “What, you’re not going to give me any crap?  I fully expected it from you!”  She blinked.  “About what?”  Heh.
So there it is, I’m a little bit blinged up today.  Pics upon request.
(Please specify if you want the closer-up one or the one Dys took, looked at, and said, “Oh, the girls will love that.”  I fully expect her to claim the blame for the pose, because she insisted on it.)
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11 Responses

  1. My 5 year-old niece got her ears pierced last weekend and it was the funniest thing I’ve seen in ages. Her response (squeezing her eyes shut and opening her mouth following the gun): “Owie.” Then she was cool.

    She got her’s done at the mall by some chick who looked like a Disney star, not a tattoo parlour with some girl who’s sporting a septum ring. I’m sure your experience was a bit more colorful but otherwise the same.

    Probably so. Except she was assuredly cuter.

  2. Heh. We’re all going to be SO DAMN HIP next summer. I’ve got two 14g’s in each ear, and Calvin has two 10g’s in each ear, and a 14g in the upper ear cartilage of one of his ears. Piercings are ADDICTIVE, I’ve found. I’m thinking of getting one more in each ear.

    Honestly, Calvin was one of the things I thought of when I decided to do it. “Calvin’s got those earrings and I bet nobody gives him any crap over it…at least not that he gives a crap about!” And you can tell him I said so.

    I don’t know that I’ll get another in the ear anytime soon. Industrials are kinda cool, I think, but I can wait a while on that.

    • This part of we is not nearly so cool. *sniffle* I’d run out and get some extra holes or some ink or something, but I’m thinking my body isn’t in the finest of healing moods at the moment. Stupid insulin resistance. 😛

      Won’t really know until you try, huh?

  3. I had two piercings but now I have one. And, as you’d expect, I did it backwards. I won’t bore you with the whole story (I don’t think it’s on the site so I can send it if there’s interest) but I will say when I got the nipple pierced I stood (not being tough, I just did) and felt nothing. My football playing assistant also stood but almost passed out. That was pretty funny.

    One day we’re sitting around a table talking, me, my assistant, my girlfriend. She (who’s idea the nipple piercing was) said I should do my ear so she got a needle. She sticks in through my ear and all is good.

    Until she tries to get the ring through. Can’t find the back hole. I’m sitting there as she’s moving it around. My assistant takes a shot and he can’t find it. But he keeps working it. He couldn’t find it either.

    So pushed the stem of the ring through. Pop! They both jumped a little at the popping sound but I didn’t move. I don’t know why.

    Must be numb from the nipples up.

    Years later my girlfriend didn’t like it, I liked her so took out the nipple ring.

    I want to see all the pictures, you stud!

    “Numb from the nipples up.” I dunno, I think it might beat being numb from the nipples down…

  4. My pediatrician pierced my ears. 😀

    Yes I’ve done things on the spur of the moment after I’d thought about them too long. One time I came home with a hole in my belly and another time I came home with a Harley.

    Both of those would get me the Stare of Death from my wife. 🙂

  5. Good for you for doing what you wanted to do! I know a little about that this month.

    Mine is cool but yours is SO MUCH cooler.

  6. Ohhhh yes, gotta see the pics, both, please, if that’s not being too greedy!! Thanks, TB!

    You got it!

  7. That would freak out my wife…the hair is enough for her to deal with. It’s your body…you should come up with some creative places for piercings…armpits…biceps.

    Ooh! Armpits!

  8. I let my ears grow shut years ago. So, no piercings for me. But I fully expect my 10 year old to start begging for it soon.

    My 9yo son inquired. But the idea of pain put him off. And I told him it was something grown-up guys could do but not so much younger guys. (In fact, his school dress code forbids it.)

  9. […] turns out it was the counter-jockey at my piercer’s shop, calling to check on how my ears were healing up.  My demeanor changed in an instant.  “Oh!  Hey, man, things are going […]

  10. you seem like the kind of shaved-head badass who can pull off pierced ears. and tattoos. are you SURE you’re married??

    Uh, yep. Pretty sure.

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