A thunderstorm of artsy WTF

I’ve had this idea to do this artsy kind of thing for some time, actually, and finally decided to pull the plug and try it.  I don’t think it ended up quite as I planned, but still kinda cool in a very, very, very strange way.

Yes, I realize that it reads like the writings of a very precocious 15-year-old boy with a broken heart and a bad acid trip.  But keep reading; eventually you’ll figure out what I’m up to.

That’s when the fun begins.  (Hopefully.)

***

The shallow cries of the wind sing a swansong for mankind.  Disturb not her dream.

The silence of a falling star lights up the purple sky.  A sixty ton angel fell to the earth.  I thought we were down.  Now here I am:  half a man, standing alone.  A zombie hides my face, tilling my own grave to keep me level.  My flesh still crawls as I breathe your name.  Words escape me when I try to speak.  Hold on a little longer.  I keep trying for you.  I’m still right here, giving blood, keeping faith.  I’ll keep holding on.

For ten long years she was my pride and joy.  And the wonder of it all is that you just don’t realize.  I remember when we used to sit… when your fears subside and shadows still remain, our thoughts can breathe sonnets of love.  Greet me with the eyes of a child; a woman came to be from the girl of yesterday.  She’s the only one who knows how it feels when you lose a dream.  Your presence kept me floating far from depths where secrets lie.  You know the door to my very soul.  It took my breath away.  To me, it means everything.  Only in dreams could it be this way.  It brings to life a vision in one’s mind.

Counting hours, searching the night.

Just for a moment I was back in school, and felt that old familiar pain.   The rose we remember, the thorns we forget.  Before I could run I found you already settled down in the back of my mind.  I didn’t feel the danger.  Now I feel the heat.  I didn’t know if I was the boxer or the bag.  You’re the only one who really knew me at all…I traded in my birthright for you, when you heaved your discontented sigh.  A million stars up in the sky, and I need you by my side. Where are you tonight?  I don’t seem to know you.  I can see you running through the fields of sorrow; running like a blade, to and through the heart.  There is no pain; you are receding.  Don’t fall away and leave love bleeding in my hands again.  Please change this “impossible” into “somehow.”

It seems to me that some fine things have been laid upon your table, but you only want the ones you can’t get.  Bridges were built for burning; your sky can still be blue, you could cut ties with all the lies that you’ve been living in.  Follow those who pale in your shadow, knowing many loving arms.  I know she’ll be the sun in someone else’s sky.

If the sun refused to shine…  after the picture fades and darkness has turned to grey…

I focus on the pain; the only thing that’s real. All alone at the end of the evening.  There’s nothing short of dying that’s as lonesome as the sound.  I wondered how tomorrow could ever follow today.  Our dreams are never made out of real things.  A rolling blackout of oblivion, spiraling to the ground below, like autumn leaves left in the wake to fade away.  Some fools fool themselves, I guess.

Someone like you makes it hard to live with somebody else.  I can see through you.  It may be my name you call, but it’s his name I hear.  What’s your price for flight?  I wonder if she’s sorry?  With all the money in the world you can’t buy my respect.  Things of this world I guess we never really own.  You can’t lie your way back in.  There’s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight. Not a word was spoken; the church bells all were broken.

Something about me leaves you cold.  I watched the fire that grew so low, and it’s making me so angry to know that the flame still burns:  I can feel the tears burning – burning in my heart.  I don’t know why I feel it so strong, but I feel it just the same.  I could not figure out that I had to do it every day.  I never meant to cause you any sorrow.  I realize I let you down.  This thorn in my side is from the tree I planted.  I can never see what’s right or what is wrong.  I tried my best to walk away; it’s no use, the pain’s in your eyes.  Someday you will find me, caught beneath the landslide.   It’s out of my hands.

In chasing what I thought were moonbeams, I’ve run into a couple of walls.  The secret of her love is locked away, like the smoldering smoke when the fire’s left the coals.  I could look, but I could never touch.  This is my kind of love:  the kind that moves on.  When I’m hiding, when I need it, it lets me breathe.  And nothing’s going to change the way I feel.  Or my love.

I can’t sleep because it hurts when I think.  Now I understand what you tried to say to me, and how you suffered for your sanity, how you tried to set them free.  For the life of me, I cannot remember what made us think that we were wise.  I wish I didn’t know now what I didn’t know then.  I can feel it coming back again.  Turn down these voices inside my head.  The mirror tells me lies.  Lately I’ve been talking in my sleep.  I don’t believe that anybody feels the way I do.  In the rays of the sun, I am longing for the darkness.  And I pray, can I be saved?  I spent all my money on a future grave.  Bury me softly in this world.

It seems like it goes on like this forever.  You must forgive me.

Angels on the sideline again.  No long explanation, no reconciliation.  Climb high to the highest rung, to shake fists at the sky; with the birds I’ll share this lonely view.  As my stance, it stumbles home, why try to stay sober, when I’m dying here?  Who’s going to plug their ears when you scream?  Tell me, how does she feel?  I know.  I know, I know, I know.  I know.  I gave my life away, running over the same old ground.

When forever is over, I won’t remember how much I loved you anymore.  You can only win when I’m not afraid to lose.  Still, I catch myself thinking, someday I’ll find my way back here.  I’ll follow you down until the sound of my voice will haunt you.  Mention this to me, and watch the weather change.

Where is the dark I came to find?  What could I find beyond the light?  Will you find the courage when the truth comes closing in?  All of my hopes, fading away.  Floating in the dark.  Never meant to last.  How could you love me, when it wouldn’t have made any difference?  Could you ever love a man like me?  I’ve been afraid of changing, because I’ve built my life around you.  All my love’s in vain; I might as well be dreaming.  Paint your face a shadow smile and sever this umbilical residue.

I’m still all right to smile.  I’m old enough to see behind me, and young enough to feel my soul.  Long look in the mirror, we come face to face:  I feel an angel steal me from the greedy jaws of death and chance, and pull me in with steady hands.  The world is sleeping; I’m still driving.  One day I’ll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me:  I will stand, arms outstretched, pretend I’m free to roam…when all God needs is gravity to hold me down.  When the moon peeks over the mountains, I’ll be on my way.  My shadow is the only one that walks beside me.  I don’t know where I’m going, I just want to be left alone.  Yesterday has been and gone; tomorrow, will I find the sun, or will it rain?

There’s a wound that’s always bleeding, there’s a road I’m always walking, and I know you’ll never return to this place.

***

The score to beat is Dys’s, 20 points with absolutely no cheating.  Bonus points if you can guess exactly what’s going on here.  It’s tough, but you’re a smart bunch, and I think somebody may be able to put it all together…

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8 Responses

  1. “When forever is over, I won’t remember how much I loved you anymore.”

    Beautifully put.

    It was! Wish I could take credit.

  2. You wrote a story using random song lyrics! Cool beans.

    Almost! Hint: “Random” is incorrect.

    • I’m totally curious as to what was the first one that you recognized! 🙂

      I admit, I’m curious about this as well, just because my mind is weird. If you’re not embarrassed, post up what line you figured it out by.

      (For the record, the FIRST LINE is the one that I’m most absolutely positive nobody will get without Google help.)

      • “I’ll keep holding on” is what triggered me to the lyric thing, then I recognized Hank in “The silence of a falling star lights up the purple sky.” Then I went back and re-read everything again.

        I thought Hank was a potential giveaway, but that song IS pretty old.

  3. Oh, and I recognize a bunch. What do you want, song title, artist? In an e-mail so it ain’t spoiled for others who want to play?

    Sure, artist and song title works. And I don’t really care if you email or post here – some of them are really obvious but some are sufficiently obscure that I feel confident saying nobody will get them. (Yes, not even Heather.) 😀

  4. MY brain can SOOOOOO not handle this right now to play title/artist…but it did take me to the fifth paragraph to figure out what was going on…

    As brain-teasers go, this is a tough one. Made harder by the fact that I had to mash a few of them together to make any sort of sense, so there may be two lyrics from different songs separated by a comma or a colon or something.

    I figured the first line in the 6th paragraph or the 8th paragraph would be a dead giveaway. I also placed it in the “music” category, but I know I never look at those and so I didn’t figure anyone else would either. Of course, after I figured that, Dys noticed it immediately…

  5. I’m not sure I’m interested in playing, and here’s why. FBF had the talent of making up bad goth poetry on the spot and delivering it in a pitch-perfect gothy way. Reading these lyrics in this format reminds me EXACTLY of the way he used to do it, which consistently cracked me the hell up.

    You are entirely forgiven. I knew going in that this was going to sound like some teenaged Goth kid trying to write something tortured and deep. And I agree, on some levels it’s kinda hysterical.

  6. For me, the first lyric that hit me was Eric Clapton.

    You’d have to be more specific! 😀

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