Mad Libs – the original

I’m confident Dys will get her Mad Lib list done, and that she can let her mind go blank enough to just compile a list of words.  (Lady’s got a vocabulary to die for.)  If not, uh, honey, look the other way for a few posts!

I couldn’t decide how best to do this, so I’m going to give a separate post for each Mad Libber.  Either way, it’ll be kinda long and spam my front page, but at least this way it’ll be a little easier to see who said what.

First, though, I’m going to post the original passage from which the Mad Libs are made.  In retrospect it was at least twice as long as it should have been; I’ll remember that lesson next time.

As for the source, well, y’all shouldn’t be shocked.  😉

***

Taken from the Ducati Desmosedici RR Owner’s Manual, page 108:

Riding safety

The points given below are applicable for every day motorcycle use and should be carefully observed for safe and effective vehicle operation.

A motorcycle does not provide the impact protection of an automobile, so defensive riding in addition to wearing protective apparel is extremely important. Do not let protective apparel give you a false sense of security.

When applying the brakes, use both the front and rear brakes. Applying only one brake for sudden braking may cause the motorcycle to skid and lose control.

Riding at the proper rate of speed and avoiding unnecessarily fast acceleration are important not only for safety and low fuel consumption but also for long vehicle life and quieter operation.

When riding in wet conditions or on loose roadway surfaces, the ability to maneuver will be reduced.  All of your actions should be smooth under these conditions.  Sudden acceleration, braking or turning may cause loss of control.

When the roadway is wet, rely more on the throttle to control vehicle speed and less on the front and rear brakes. The throttle should also be used judiciously to avoid skidding

the rear wheel from too rapid acceleration or deceleration. On rough roads, exercise caution, slow down, and grip the fuel tank with your knees for better stability.

When quick acceleration is necessary as in passing, shift to a lower gear to obtain the necessary power. Do not down shift at too high an r.p.m. to avoid damage to the engine from overreving.

Avoiding unnecessary weaving is important to the safety of both the rider and other motorists.

Do not exceed the legal speed limit or drive too fast for existing conditions. High speed increases the influence of any condition affecting stability and the loss of control.

Operate motorcycle only at moderate speed and out of traffic until you have become thoroughly familiar with its operation and handling characteristics under all conditions.

This is a very high performance motorcycle, designed and intended for use by experienced careful riders only!  [Editor’s note:  Uh, “high performance,” yeah.  The thing weighs less than 400 pounds and makes about 200 horsepower.  Why shouldn’t this be on page 1, instead of page 108?  I guess they figure if you have $75k to spend on a race-replica motorcycle…]

***

Heheheh.  I’ll give y’all a little while to absorb this, then the commenter-completed Mad Libs will go up.

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One Response

  1. Yeah, no surprise here. But it did remind me that I thought of you when I saw this:

    http://tinyurl.com/d4kqh4

    Rental Ducatis? Dude, if those weren’t all in California my wife would KILL YOU. Heheh.

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