Mad Lib – Kim

First up is Kim, who commented first.

This is a Mad Lib, so a Level One Beverage Alert is in effect.

Proceed…

***

Riding safety

The [titties] given below are applicable for every day [crotch] use and should be carefully [burped] for [slutty] and [slimy] vehicle operation.

A motorcycle does not provide the impact protection of a [platypus], so defensive riding in addition to wearing [diapers] is extremely [greasy]. Do not let [undies] give you a false sense of security.

When [eating] the [balls], use both the front and rear [turds]. Applying only one brake for sudden braking may cause the motorcycle to [blow] and lose [wart].

Riding at the [dirty] rate of speed and avoiding [stupidly] fast acceleration are important not only for safety and low fuel consumption but also for [stinky] vehicle life and quieter [toenail].

When riding in [drunk] conditions or on loose [wingnuts], the ability to [suck] will be [farted].  All of your actions should be [high] under these conditions.  Sudden acceleration, braking or [squatting] may cause loss of control.

When the [bowling ball] is wet, rely more on the throttle to control [vibrator] speed and less on the front and rear brakes. The throttle should also be used [slowly] to avoid [barfing] the rear wheel from too rapid acceleration or deceleration. On rough roads, exercise [booger], slow down, and grip the [tampon] with your [toads] for better stability.

When quick acceleration is necessary as in [pooping], shift to a lower gear to obtain the necessary power. Do not [sling] at too high an r.p.m. to avoid damage to the engine from overreving.

Do not exceed the [spectacular] speed limit or drive too fast for existing [hot dogs]. High speed increases the influence of any [skidmark] affecting stability and the loss of control.

Operate motorcycle only at [asinine] speed and out of traffic until you have become thoroughly [flabby] with its operation and handling characteristics under all conditions.

This is a very high performance motorcycle, designed and intended for use by experienced careful [drums] only!

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3 Responses

  1. She is just disgusting….

    She also lives down South, so there’s a 24% chance that she has a .25 semi-auto in her purse. I’m just sayin’.

  2. Holy tittie crotch burping slutty slimy platypus, TB! What kind of people hang around here? And here I thought MTAE took it to an all new level.

    Priceless little game you’re playing here, sir! Very amusing.

    Heheheheh. I love it when Mad Libs can be both infantile and surreal.

  3. “When eating the balls…”

    Hahaha! A couple of the sentences came close to almost making sense which made me laugh harder. But as I told you, I have the sense of humor of a 12-year-old boy. Who spends most of his time in detention. If they still have that.

    No pistols (yet), only shotguns.

    Yep, it’s the ones that are plausible that tend to be funniest. Like gripping with your dingleberries – that one almost made me cry, hehe.

    You’ve got shotguns in your purse? 😉

    Shotguns are more useful. And sometimes more fun, it depends. (Only pistols I’ve ever fired were .44 black powder revolvers, and five rounds from a .38 at the police range.)

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