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Ho-ho-holy crap I’m tired.

Even though I have no real right to be.  It’s my parents who’ve been getting up with my son every day while I get to sleep until the crack of 8:30.

In deference to my still-cruddy link to the outside world (and my inability to nab a computer since Dys has been hogging it to *gasp*  work!)  I’m gonna do some quick-hit style posting.  Surely I’m gonna forget something funny but hopefully Dys will bop me and jog my memory.

Dys woke up yesterday sick.  Not surprising, since our son has been sick and our nephew has been sick.  But it means she’s pretty much asleep or working right about now.  (Guess which one at this particular second.)  Or, more interestingly, both.  Kinda fun to come poke her awake and see her screen full of “3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333”…

I told her yesterday morning, “Go ahead and give me a big wet kiss.  Better that I get sick right away and have a few days to get through the worst of it before I have to drive on the way back.”  

She didn’t.  Oh well.

Speaking of big wet kisses, the Astroglide purchase was a success.  I hit a drugstore over near the liquor store instead of the main Super Wal-Mart in town.  Woohoo!   Didn’t see anybody I knew.  Then I went to the Wal-Mart and saw the mother of my elementary school “worst friend/best enemy” person and the uncle of my ex-fiancee.  

And hope I don’t disappoint – the AG wasn’t for anything adventurous.  It’s just one of those joyous adjustments to menopause.  As Dys says it, “It won’t guarantee you’ll get some, but NOT having it will guarantee that you WON’T.”  And so I says, “AG coming up!”  

And now she’s sick.  Thhhbbbppptttt.  

The obituaries in the Richmond paper this morning included a sweet old man – my ex-fiancee’s grandfather.  On the one hand, I’d like to pay my respects, but on the other, I think my presence could easily be perceived by the family as less of an act of respect and more of a distraction in a time of weakness.  I think I’ll choose the “do no harm” option and keep my distance.  

In other strange-family-news, my brother and sister-in-law are taking their son to meet my SIL’s birth mother today.  My thoughts are with them, as SIL hasn’t seen her birth mother in probably six or seven years, minimum.  Not at her graduation, not at her wedding, not at her son’s birth.  Long story there which isn’t entirely mine to tell, but though my SIL is far from perfect she’s a sweetheart at bottom and I’m hoping this goes well for her.  

Now for teh funnay.  (I hope.)

We did the big family Christmas thing with my parents, and my brother’s family on Christmas Eve, since my father’s entire family was due over for breakfast and my mother’s entire family for lunch on Christmas day.  We’ve found that doing our smaller family thing on Christmas Eve gives the kids more time to spread out, open their loot, and play while we clean up.  

Anyway, my son got a Playstation Portable (PSP) from my parents and more or less blew it off to their dismay – until the next morning.  Ever since then he’s had it surgically attached to his hands.  Yesterday he called it “the perfect present.”  So I said, “You should tell Granny and Granddaddy that and give them a big hug.”  “No thanks.”

Yesterday my mom asked him if it was okay if they un-decorated.  “Might as well,” he said, “Christmas is over.”  That’s my boy.  All practicality.  

I can now break cover and thank Laura for helping with doing some photoshopping of a few of our Indy GP pics that I had made into posters for Dys’s office.  Laura:  Present Victory!  Although she now wants to see the others too!

Me:  “Who gave [16-year-old cousin] that [6-inch hunting] knife?”
Dad:  “[Your brother.]  Why?”
Me:  “It’s not that he gave somebody a knife.  It’s not that he gave it to a 16-year old; I know [cousin] is really starting to get into hunting.  It’s not that he gave him a big-ass knife in a room full of kids.  It’s that he gave the knife in a room full of kids to the type of guy who would whip it out and [miming big arm movements] say, “LOOK EVERYBODY, I GOT A KNIFE!!!””

My mother’s sister, her husband, and their three sons left Atlanta about 3am and drove up for about 48 hours.  Her middle son, who’s about 24 if I recall correctly, got a nice 12-gauge over/under shotgun and was dying to try it out.  So in keeping with our Constitutionally-protected and redneck-contractually-obligated duties, said cousin, his 17-year-old brother, my brother and I went over to my brother’s house to do some backyard shootin’.  

My brother had three little Christmas Coke bottles – little plastic bottles that were shaped like round Christmas ornaments, about four inches or so in diameter.  So after we did a little shooting with my brother’s .50 muzzleloader and his .30-30, we loaded up the cousin’s 12-gauge and the 20-gauge side-by-side that belonged to my great-grandfather and took turns lobbing the water bottles in the air as others shot at them.

I mostly stood back and let the others go, especially our cousins, who are more or less city kids and don’t usually get the chance to do this kind of thing.  They kept missing, to the point that they were getting frustrated.  It didn’t help that my brother hit the ball on the second try, tearing it to holy hell.  And then I hit on my first try.  

Hell, after that I wanted to quit.  I hadn’t fired a shotgun in probably four or five years and I knew it was luck – better to stay at 1 for 1 than show myself up!  But as the cousins got more frustrated, they tried to regroup and had my brother and I shoot more.  We kept knocking them out of the sky.  We switched guns – we still hit, they still missed.  We got bigger bottles – same difference.  It got to the part that we felt sorry for ’em, even my 24-year-old cousin, who can be a bit of a shit.  They never hit a moving target all day.  They admitted it to their dad afterward, and he immediately disowned them.

(I went 6-for-6 – let’s hear it for luck and great-granddaddy’s old Stevens.)  

Crisitunity – I got Oblivion from Dys and my son, woohoo!  And I made it to That Spot in Bioshock.  I’ll email ya about it, maybe when I get home.  VERY nice!

After it warmed up a bit and before the rain, I got to take a brief walk in the woods with my son.  We do this every year when we visit, because it’s the kind of thing that I did constantly as a kid that he almost never does – my son will be a city kid, and that’s sometimes hard for me to swallow.  Anyway, I tried to teach him a little bit of woodcraft – how to identify game trails, how to pick the path of least resistance, etc. –  and I think I was partially successful.  Anyway, it was a good time as always.

Dys took some great photos – artsy ones, even! – during ye olde Family Bluegrass Jam.  Some should be used as a collage when the band records their next CD, which I was told may be in the spring (awesome).  We’ll have to upload to Flickr when we get back home.  

After the second song my uncle, the bandleader and musical guru of the family, figured out he was tuned flat because he had his tuner set to A=435 instead of A=440 (standard).  Which caused my cousin and I to both look at each other and say, “Hell, I thought it was ME that was flat!”  

After a while I could keep up reasonably well, although my fingers really let me know how little I’ve been playing lately by the end of it.  Anyway, it was fun.  

My parents and my brother and I went over on the day after Christmas and moved two truckloads of firewood from my grandfather’s backyard down to his basement before the rain came in.  My poor grandfather is slowly growing more deaf and less able to move around.  For such a big, vibrant, and dare I say “jolly” old fellow it’s hard to see.  

On Christmas night Dys and I had our first-ever four-person Rock Band gig with my brother and SIL.  Heh, my poor brother took a beating on the singing, but it was fun.

And so was the Halo match with my brother.  Hopefully we can have a big four-way Halo shootout before we go home.

Just generally I’ve been sitting around, eating someone else’s cooking and trying to teach my son to not be so grumpy when his little cousin wants to climb all over him.  I’ll take it.  

Hope y’all have had a great holiday, and you’re all safe and sound and not snowed in, iced into an airport, etc.!


8 Responses

  1. Nice shootin’!!!!!!!

    “You can take a boy out of the country…”

    “…but it takes forever to get the smell of gunpowder off his clothes.”

  2. 😀 We played Rock Band on Christmas night, too. I kicked ass on the singing. Heh. I’m so glad Dys liked her present! I’ve “unlocked” the photos on Flickr so she can see the rest of ’em. Hope the rest of your vacation is great, and have a safe drive back home!

    She really liked them all! I’ll leave it to her to comment further.

  3. Sounds like a fun vacation. Our Playstation is being dominated by the new Call of Duty game because Brian loves nothing more than WWII. I like watching but the shooting noise after awhile makes me want to put a bullet through my own skull.
    I hope your wife feels better; it seems like a lot of people are down with the sickies right now. I’m sure mine is coming soon, probably on Jan. 5th when I have to go back to work.

    I’ve managed to avoid the sickies so far…we’ll see how long that lasts.

    My son is currently running around the Dark Brotherhood sanctuary in Oblivion, just talking to everyone and having a ball. Of course, that’s on MY profile – with his character, he says he’s too afraid to keep fighting the rats to finish the game tutorial…

  4. Sorry Dys isn’t feeling too well, but it sounds like a pretty good holiday anyhow. No snow here! 😀

    Do you guys ever get snow?

    She’s feeling better now. 🙂

  5. All of our snow melted yesterday when it was 61 degrees…in December. Craziness. I’ll take it though.

    Hope Dys feels better and you don’t catch the bug!

    Your weather really has been the weirdness as best I’ve seen.

  6. Sounds like an excellent holiday, Deadeye.

    *blows smoke off the barrels*

  7. What a great set of Christmas stories. It sounds like you had a wonderful time.

    Heather, we had insane 65-degree days here, too.

    Hope you’ve had a good holiday as well! How’re the Highlander DVDs coming along? 🙂

  8. I’m starting to enjoy them as much as BF does. [ashamed face] Partially because the mid-90’s wardrobe is freakin’ hilarious.

    Take it back!

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