Thanksgiving at the Grocery Store

The people you see at the grocery store at 10am on Thanksgiving:

a)  The little older lady, 65-70, with immaculate hair, nicely dressed, pushing her cart like she’s qualifying for the Indy 500.  I’m serious.  I’m pretty sure that if she felt like she could have run without her female ancestors rolling in their graves, she’d have been doing it.

b)  The guy, age 40ish, with a little hand basket and a cell phone to his ear giving the play-by-play commentary to someone on the other end.  (Okay, his wife.  We all know it was his wife.)  “Well, there’s ranch, peppercorn ranch, fat-free ranch, fat-free peppercorn ranch.  Which was it you wanted?”

c)  Nicely dressed kids in the race-car kart whining at mom and dad to hurry up.

d)  An unshaven TB, carrying a (mercifully short) shopping list and mentally taking notes.

Dys says, “How much sugar is on that recipe for [Chocolate Chip Bourbon Pecan Pie of Diabetic Doom That Shall Not Be Named]?  It could be a problem.”

I look.  “2 cups.”

She looks at our sugar stock.  “It’s a problem.”

Damn skippy.  I must have my Pie O’ Doom.  Otherwise I collapse into a pile of quivering whine.  You know, like I do when I’m not getting any. 

So I went.  Mission accomplished…my pie is in the oven.  You can probably tell by the pile of drool at my feet.

Things are looking good so far around the TB household for Thanksgiving – hope it’s the same for all of y’all.  (And Suzy and my other non-American pals, yes, I’ll stuff myself a little extra for y’all, too.)

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14 Responses

  1. THE PIE TURNED OUT AWESOME. You and Dys have achieved demi-god status in this household.

    Heheh, last year it got a friend a marriage proposal at her office party – and this year she says she came to work one morning to find a bag of pecans in her chair. Hint hint! 😀

  2. WAAAAAAAAAHHHHH…I want THE PIE!!!

    Seriously, I need to get off my fat ass, buy the ingredients, cook the pie, and sit down on my fatter-than-ever-before ass again. 😛

    Have a great day guys!

    Notice what Laura says – you won’t regret it!

    Well, as long as you remain conscious, at least.

  3. Oh- could you ask Dys for me if the 2T on the recipe against the bourbon is tsp or tbsp?

    Thanks!!

    Tbsp.

  4. When you collapse into a diabetic coma, I don’t wanna hear it. 😉

    Computer’s still broken, am hogging up my mom’s today.

    Don’t worry, you won’t! I mean, besides the fact that I’ll be in a coma. It’ll be a happy coma.

  5. I wasn’t at the grocery store at 10am, but I did have to go out even though I hadn’t planned on it because my 1/2 gallon of milk in the back of the fridge FROZE! I couldn’t believe it. I took it out to make the turtle pumpkin pie this morning and it was solid.

    So, I was the almost 40 year old woman in her jammies and slippers with no two hairs on her head going the same direction picking up milk.

    Happy Day, Turkey! 😉

    Now THAT is a funny damned visual. 😀

  6. Oh hey, while I’m thinking about it, nobody get offended if I don’t visit your blogs this weekend – aside from the whole family-time thing, I don’t have my feed reader installed at home, so it takes some slogging through my sidebar blogroll to find you folks. It may happen, but it may be put off til Monday.

    Gobble gobble, muh’fugga!

  7. If I made this thing for my wife…could it get me “lucky”?

    If by “lucky” you mean “she’s out like a light and I have 30 minutes of peace and quiet” then probably so. 😀

  8. I wrote a shirt about shopping that says: “My wife sent me here. If found wandering aimlessly PLEASE HELP!”

    I once had to visit a store on a T-Day morn and it was no where as civilized. Oh, people were running around but it seemed as if they were aimless. Nothing in their carts made sense to me and one person had me totally flummoxed.

    Items:
    bacon
    mop
    folding chair

    I swear, I wandered through the entire store and didn’t find folding chairs. The fact that, if I’d already hadn’t written the lyrics for it, he would have been the inspiration for ‘Axe Murdering Drag Queen’ must also be included in this description.

    Hmmm. Given that description, perhaps he always carries the folding chair around in the event that a spontaneous professional wrestling match breaks out. It pays to be prepared, after all.

  9. 1 cup, you sugar junkie – ONE!

    And MTAE – if the wife likes pecans, chocolate, and things that can rot your teeth without even touching them… Yes.

    Hell, I don’t even drink bourbon, and I looooove the damn thing. Probably helps that it’s my recipe — or at least my bastardized version of a weenie one that I found a while ago.

    Hope y’all loved it! 😀

    One cup, two, what’s the difference with all that corn syrup?

  10. Seems like a picture of the pie would be totally appropriate…though I suspect it’s long gone now 🙂

    Happy Turkey Day!

    Yep, I finished ours off yesterday. Laura took a picture of the pie over on her blog, though…all the way at the bottom.

  11. oooh…. I hope you stuffed yourself full of that delicious pie (and I hope someone mopped up the drool, haha 😉 )

    I definitely was having an “oof” moment on Friday when I capped off the leftovers with a slice of pie.

  12. Pie o’doom! I love it, and I need the recipe.

    Dys says she’ll post it up close to Christmastime – I’ll link it up when she does!

  13. Happy belated Thanksgiving to you and the TB family.

    I too made a chocolate bourbon pecan pie (first time ever) and it was heavenly. Wait not sure if you can call a product heavenly if it contains alcohol. It was sinfully delicious.

    Oooh, even better!! And I didn’t laugh at your post about being locked out of the house. I might have smiled a little bit, though.

  14. I clicked on the Laura link. I see what you’re saying. It looked fabulous, and definitely warranted a Thanksgiving grocery trip.

    Oh yeah! 🙂

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