Revenge of the Halloween Meme

Good news, I finally found an axe for my son’s costume! Woohoo!

And I picked up some Halloween candy when I did. Five…no, wait, four bags of it to take home. *munch munch*

Yeah, four. *munch munch*

What? *munch munch* Back off.

Anyways, I have a little game in store for tomorrow if all goes according to plan.  In the meantime, I’m borrowing today’s Halloween meme from one of my favorite blogging couples, Matt and Allison. Thanks for the meme, guys, me likey!

1. What is the worst Halloween treat you’ve ever received while trick-or-treating?

A toothbrush. I get it, smartass, and I still don’t care.

2. What character from any horror film would you most like to play?

Top Dollar from The Crow. Actually, just Michael Wincott’s hair and voice would be fantastic, but you’ve gotta admit, that was a character with some panache.

Speacking of panache, I actually used to be able to do a pretty good imitation of Hannibal Lecter, but that was a long time ago. That would be another fun one.

Oh, and I never saw the whole movie, but I’d LOVE to play a guy like that one line from that old movie Virtuosity with Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe: “The three best adjectives to describe this killer are: sadistic, intelligent, and dangerous.” Now that’s a recipe for a good time!

3. Would you rather be a zombie, alien or psycho? (Why?)

Psycho. Aliens are just doing their jobs, zombies are just feeding their hunger. I wanna be somebody who enjoys it. Are we havin’ fun yet, or what?

4. How many Halloween, Friday the 13th or A Nightmare on Elm Street movies do you own on dvd combined?

Uh, zero. Honestly I don’t watch a lot of horror movies. Nothing against them, just nothing really for ’em, either.

5. What is the scariest movie you have ever seen?

I watched The Blair Witch Project for the first time alone, in a dark house. That was pretty freaky. It doesn’t hold up to repeat viewings all that well, but the first time was pretty scary.

I keep wanting to watch Se7en but Dys keeps saying she doesn’t even want to be in the house when and if I do.

6. Lamest Halloween costume you have seen?

Pimp costumes. I think most people think they look hysterical wearing them, but I think they look pretty lame.

The accompanying ho’s, however, get my stamp of approval.

7. Favorite Halloween treat?

Reese’s. Anybody reaching for the last one in the bowl better watch out or they might lose a hand.

8. Friendly faced Jack-O-Lantern or scary one?

Unless you’re 5 or under, scary. Dys has done the psychotically intricate pumpkin-carving patterns before, and it’s awesome. But just a plain ol’ triangle-eyed pumpkin is still cool.

9. Have you ever had nightmares about a scary movie character?

Not that I can recall, actually.

10. Best thing about Halloween?

Aside from the candy and watching my kid get all excited, I’d have to agree with Matt and Allison, it’s women taking the license to dress ridiculously slutty for an evening. Woohoo!

11. Strangest Halloween custom you’ve heard about?

Custom? You mean aside from the old pagan stuff?

Honestly, I don’t know of any. There was this one pathetic rumor when I was in high school that “Satanists” were looking for blonde, blue-eyed children to sacrifice. My girlfriend at the time actually worked herself into a terror over that hokey bullshit.

12. Person in your family who most likes Halloween (not counting yourself)?

Probably my son, but Dys is very close!

13. Are you superstitious? If so, name at least one superstition of yours.

Uh, I’ll have bad luck during the day unless I have sex the night before. Or that morning. No, wait, the night before AND that morning! Yeah, that’s it!


16 Responses

  1. We’d been out of the Halloween loop for a while. My girlfriends daughter was old enough to be mortified at the concept of treat and/or tricking. Actually, we were pretty happy to hear about the latter.

    But last year we found ourselves out and, boy, we had missed some things. Mainly one thing but it was sort of blatant. It left us with only question.

    When did Halloween become a holiday for sluts?

    I’m not complaining, I’m just asking.

    We were in a bar and every female costume was ‘Naughty Place Job Title Or Once Innocent Childhood Character Here’?

    It was actually entertaining to watch one exceptionally buxom and shored up woman unable to reach her drink because she couldn’t get close enough to the bar.

    We ended up calling the place Cleavage, Ohio.

    You were spooked by Blair Witch? I went to see it with a movie reviewer and, walking out, he asked me what I thought. I said,

    “Ghost Dad was scarier.”

    I do know many people (including the reviewers co-host) who were scared but it did nothing for me.

    After the other host saw it she went right home, turned on every light in the house, grabbed a cat for protection and waited for him to come home.

    I questioned her sanity about grabbing a cat for protection. I know for a fact they’ll sell you out for a handful of kibble.

    For someone with one of their favorite movies being Chainsaw she does frighten easily. A mutual friend was dressing up like Tickle Me Elmo (I can’t remember if it was for Halloween) we got to the door, rang the bell, she answered the door and freaked!

    We didn’t know she’d just seen a movie where bad guys dressed up similar to Elmo and kidnapped people. We almost fell down the stairs pissing ourselves when she screamed.

    Seven is a great movie but I have my problem with it. I’ve watched it repeatedly and think it’s great but don’t think it’s ‘turn on all the lights’ scary. A few weeks ago I watch Silence Of The Lambs and Seven back to back.

    But look who’s saying that. A guy kicked out of a screening for Saw because I couldn’t stop laughing.

    As always, I may not be the best judge.

    Have an awesome, axe wielding Halloween!

    I don’t think Blair Witch was all THAT scary, I just don’t watch scary movies enough to have anything better. And most “scary” stuff I just find either gross or amusing, but not “scary” per se.

    I guess I could say that Saving Private Ryan was scary. The Omaha Beach scene definitely made me pucker up in the theater.

    And I would have paid good money to see that chick reaching for her drink! HAH!

  2. 5. David Fincher interests me as a director, but I won’t own a copy of Se7en. It’s one of the ugliest films I’ve ever seen. Respect Dys’s wishes in this case.

    I’ve already seen one part that was FUCKED UP – the finding the dude in the apartment. Whoa.

    And I’ve already been kinda spoilered involuntarily on the ending. Oh well. The thing’s been out for a decade, how long can you expect not to be spoilered?

    6. Ooh! Ooh! Have you seen Wil’s zombie pimp costume? It’s AWESOME.

    Okay, I agree, that shit is hysterical.

    7. Are you and BF…related? Seriously.

    If an unnatural love for Reese’s defines a relationship, then yes. And we’re from a BIG family.

    And boundandgags, I loled at the idea of the woman who couldn’t reach her drink. I’ve seen a lot of those at the Renaissance Festival, but never on Halloween.

    I KNEW I should go to more Ren Faires. That’s how I always hear ’em described…boobs, boobs, and more boobs.

    Sounds like a horrorshow. Really. I’d be scared. [/sarcasm]

  3. I have comments, but I should probably just take care of them by doing the thing myself! But…Blair Witch? Really?

    Eh, yeah. See my reply to B&G above.

  4. A toothbrush, really?? Actually, I could use a new one. I hope the imp gets one…I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if I confiscated 😀

    I suppose it depends on the toothbrush. If it had the right kid’s show character on it, you might have a fight on your hands. 😉

  5. I’ve never been to a Ren Fair but know people who work and are really into them. I have a bit about a ren guy who was waving a very real and very large sword in front of me when a cop friend drove by. He looked at the scene, shrugged and said hi as he drove past.

    Whenever someone tells me they’re going to one I pass along some advice that’s been given to me enough times to know it must be true.

    “Don’t sit on anything soft.”

    If you thought the apartment scene in Seven was bad, what you’d find on soft places would be even more frightening.

    Okey dokey!

  6. I consider sex the RESULT of good luck, not the product OF it….

    You may be right, but damn it man, I might have a racket goin’ here, don’t mess it up!!


  7. Get this: about 8 years ago (which would have made me 27), my friends rented that lame 1970s made-for-TV mini-series based on Stephen King’s novel Salem’s Lot. Incredibly hokey, poor acting, bad special effects, terrible dialogue and starred the blond guy from Starsky & Hutch.

    We watched all 6 hours on a Saturday night and I woke up at 3 am out of the worst nightmare ever. I had the sweats, heavy breathing, the shakes… it was bad. Over a crap mini-series with the dopiest looking vampire you’ve ever seen. A 5 year-old is more scared of Santa than this guy. I am deeply shamed.

    I’d laugh at you, but having never seen it I can’t say that it wouldn’t have the same effect on me. Which would be doubly embarrassing, with me being the big bad shaved-head tattooed guy cringing at the dopey vampire.

  8. The actual Salem’s Lot movie gave me the worst nighmares EVER. I was in my grandparents’ house with creeky floors and drafts…I was a horrible mess.

    See, there ya go.

    I will say that I never read King’s books before college. Before I did, I always thought to myself “how scary can a book be?” I mean, I’d read Poe since early childhood. (Mom and Dad probably didn’t think through that purchase of a book full of “Murders in the Rue Morgue” and “Pit and the Pendulum” etc for a nine-year-old.) What was the big deal?

    Turns out the answer is that a book can, in fact, be pretty damned scary.

  9. Poe was my favorite writer around that time. I wrote lyrics for my first band (The Aquanauts – hey! Cut me some slack! I was ten!) around one of his stories but everyone freaked out so wouldn’t do it.

    Heh. I once wrote lyrics so disturbed that I threw ’em away later that day. It was a sick, sick, sick joke…even for me.

    Poe is teh awesum. Personally, I think his humorous works are masterpieces as well. For example, the two-part “The Signora Psyche Zenobia/The Scythe of Time” is absolutely hysterical, especially if you’ve spent any amount of time reading early 19th-century lit and/or newspapers.

  10. Salem’s Lot has never been one of my favorite King books. Too much padding. But I haven’t seen the movie/miniseries, and it sounded like you had the best environment to scare the piss out of you, morethananelectrictian. I had nightmares while I was reading Pet Sematary. Which one did you read that scared you, TB?

    Scariest book ever: The Haunting of Hill House. I actually screamed when BF interrupted me while I was reading it at one point. You swear there are ghosts moving around you when you read it.

    Also, on Renn Faires, I live right near one and have seen enough shelves of cleavage to last me a lifetime. It always seems that the very people who should not, for the good of all of us, like to wear corsets always really, really like to wear corsets.

    It was Pet Sematary, as it were.

    I never begrudge the big girls their corsets. It’s one of a few arenas that are stacked in their favor. That, and I’m a guy. Cleavage is pleasingly distracting to me. (Just ask Dys.)

  11. I forgot to mention…Michael Wincott’s voice! Oh.Dear. The hair extensions were bad in that movie but he is so badass it doesn’t matter!

    The kid at the window in the Salems Lot miniseries actually was kinda freaky, especially when I watched it as a kid!

    Damn straight, Michael Wincott is a badass. He was perfect for that role.

  12. I think Poe’s humor was great and is probably why I find it so easy to see humor everywhere. I’ve often explained that you can pull a premise anywhere. It depends on if you want them to jump, laugh, or cry.

    Well, you could. I could try. 😉

  13. To defend my husband’s honor, at the time that he watched BWP (at home, by himself, in the dark), we also lived in semi-BFE and he wasn’t entirely in the know that it was just a super-hyped indie goober thing. Yes, TB used to be a tad more sheltered, and all he had really heard were the quiet whispers of some truth to the thing, not that it was real footage but maybe that it was based on something real. So, ya know, a little slack is in order; normally, he’s not easy to scare.

    Unlike me, who can need a nitro pill if someone comes around the corner when I’m in the laundry room.

    As far as Se7en goes, it wasn’t scary; it was horrid, disgusting, appalling, and … just sick. And not Tarantino sick or Elm Street sick or King sick. It was, I don’t know, uncalled for and without a single redeeming factor (and I like Morgan Freeman and Brad Pitt and STILL). It was disturbingly pointless. One or the other is fine, but both together should be illegal.

    Scariest thing ever for me? The first time I ever read The Stand. Like TB said, I didn’t know a book could BE that scary. I’d made my way through several King books before, circa the time that Misery came out (book, not movie), read some of the classics like Christine and Firestarter, but stopped before I got to IT because, as Crisitunity mentioned, I couldn’t take the padding anymore and was skipping chunks of the books because of it.

    It wouldn’t be until I was 20 that I’d have The Stand thrust into my hands and would find myself reading all the way through the night because I was afraid to put the book down and have Randall Flagg haunting my mind as I slept.

    That said, the worst nightmare I’ve ever had –and have had repeatedly since the time I was 4 years old, still feeling the same utter terror when I wake up — was about Big Bird trying to kill me. 😀

    I think I knew by that time that Blair Witch wasn’t real or even based on real, but I could be wrong. (And to me, BWP means the Opeth album “Blackwater Park,” heh.)

    Honestly, I didn’t find The Stand all that scary. But I’d seen the horrid miniseries by then, so maybe that laughable thing punched a big hole in it for me. And for the record, I think the first episode of the miniseries was quite good. It was after that that it went downhill fast.

  14. I didn’t think The Stand was all that scary either, but “scary” for me requires a delicate combination of stuff, otherwise I’m just amused (gory movies) or delighted (ghost stories).

    Dys, It is actually one of my favorite Kings, even if it is the longest. Book. Ever. It was written during King’s Bad Eighties period, and you can practically shake the cocaine out of the pages at some points, but I still thought that the level that he delved into the characters was fairly compelling. If you can go into it as a padded book instead of a nice tight book like Firestarter it’s probably easier to enjoy.

    Sorry. Get me started on King and all is lost.

    What does BFE stand for?

    “Bum Fuck, Egypt.” Fairly common slang term in some parts of the country for someplace way the hell out in the boonies. Or as the “How To Stay Alive in the Woods” guy would say, “back of beyond.”

    I’ve lived in a couple of different BFE’s, personally!

  15. Also: Dys, I think your opinion of Se7en is right on. I can appreciate the lighting, camerawork etc, but it’s still a hideous film.

    Also also: TB, that was a clever pun in your response to my last comment. Stacked! HA!

    Shutting up now.

    Heh, it was totally accidental, too! Go me.

  16. I’ll admit that Seven had it’s disturbing moments and have seen people walk away from it. I defend it because, long before I saw it, I read an early version of the script and it’s one of the most amazing scripts I’ve ever read. So, I guess, my defense is for what could have been.

    The gore that ended up on the screen wasn’t as horrific on the page but what bothered me most was the movie’s ending. In the script, Freeman wouldn’t let Pitt, or anyone else, kill Doe. When I saw the movie and they offed Doe (because comeuppance plays better for the audience) I felt let down. It lost the scripts moral center and became just another gorefest.

    Happy Halloween!

    Hmm. Interesting to note, should I ever see it.

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