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Damn kids these days.

As previously stated, my son starts third grade today, and presumably right about now a whole buttload of kids are taking their first steps onto college campuses, like a 17-year-old TB did seventeen years ago.

These little bastards were a year old then.

In case you ever wanted to pause have to shiver at how rapidly you’re becoming antiquated, I offer you the Beloit College Mindset List for the incoming college Class of 2012.

Ye gods.

I’m wearing a tie today, giving orientation sessions to some of these same kids.  I don’t normally step in front of a gaggle of college students, but once a year we get called in to help out, and it’s actually fun.  Even when in that dastardly 2-2:30 hour a student or two falls asleep on us.

Wish my son good luck, and congratulate Dys on her first kid-free day in a month and a half!


8 Responses

  1. My my my, how things have changed. Even I remember Jim Henson and The Muppets.

    Now I want to dance to the Muppet Show theme.

  2. Freddy Krueger has NOT always been dead to those kids! Freddy vs. Jason came out in 2003, damnitall! 😉

    I can’t claim authorship of that other document, but yeah, I thought that one too. It’s the Caller ID thing that really got me. They have no idea the stress of “should I answer this or not?? Guess I will…. ‘Hello?’ FUCK!!”

  3. That’s why I used to have an answering machine, and I screened all my calls.

    [Gwen]It’s all your fault
    I screen my phoooone calls![/Gwen]

    Nobody saw me do that, right?

  4. I’m gonna admit I kinda found this years survey lacking. The one from 2002…that one scares the shit out of me.

    Agreed. And last year’s, that started with “What Berlin Wall?” Comparatively, this year’s is weak.

    But next year’s kids will have been born the year “Nevermind” came out. Yikes.

  5. That is a sad list. I remember drinking Mt Dew out of a bottle and when I came back from Germany four years later…everyone was recycling and there were no more glass bottles. I was crushed…they were gone!

    I admit, though, I hated the whole no deposit/no return thing.

  6. Leave it to a college in Wisconsin to make this list. They probably spent the long, harsh winter months hovered over their user-friendly PCs for warmth.


    Bwahahah! So true! That’s why “Wisconsin Death Trip” struck me as so amusing. In 1900 in Wisconsin, those long dark winters on the empty prairie, what WAS there to do but go crazy and/or kill somebody?

  7. What’s really sad: School House Rock didn’t teach them how a bill becomes a law (which is probably why most of them don’t understand the concept).

    Damn you. Now I’ll have that song in my head all day.

    “But I hope and pray that they will
    But today I am still
    Just a Bill…”

  8. Good luck to you, your son, your wife, and students everywhere. I love the word ‘gaggle’.

    Oh, and thanks for making me feel old too…flashing back to my college days….I still remember having a word processor and going to the computer lab for anything more than that…email was just starting…and I think I sent a couple via something called gopher. I only saw 1 person with a cellphone as an undergraduate, and when I saw her walking on campus while talking on the phone, I thought, “She must think she’s very important that her phone call can’t wait until she’s home.” Sheesh.

    I wrote my first college paper on a typewriter. It was only at the end of the year that I went to the computer lab to actually use a word processor. I did have an email (“pcmail” it was called at the university at the time) account, but I barely used it for the first year.

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