Gamer Dork, Table for One

I have freely admitted it repeatedly on this blog, but I am a complete dork.

As a case in point, I offer a summation of my weekend:  when it was all said and done, I was bummed that I didn’t get to play enough video games.

I DID actually get out of the house on Saturday, when we went to a baby shower held by one of Dys’s friends for her sister-in-law.  Even though those types of get-togethers, where everyone knows everyone else but I don’t know anybody, are the kinds of social situations that I am most supremely uncomfortable with, I had a pretty decent time.  We met one very nice lady (whose sons had played with ours in the past), and one lady that we both agreed should be euthanized immediately.  The rest of the people, meh.  Oh well.

The funniest part of the evening was a two-year-old standing on the diving board in her pink floaty-suit, wanting to jump in to Daddy but screeching raucously at the idea that she actually put down the slice of pizza that she was messily hugging to her body to do so.

But on the whole, I’d rather have been playing Rock Band.  I’m slowly and sloppily working my way through the Hard tour on drums, surviving at 3-4 stars and coming back later to the beginning of the list to work everything up to 5 stars.  I had been using the downloaded songs on Medium for my warmups, but now that I’ve five-starred everything on Medium, I guess it’s time to suck it up and concentrate on Hard.

The problem is, well, I’ve reached the point at which the songs are beyond my ability to just sit down and go for it.  I actually have to, you know, sit down and PRACTICE to get it right before I can not fail miserably.  Hell, if I wanted to practice I’d join a real band!  This is a game, me wanna play!!

Not just Rock Band though, oh no.  Earlier this past week I took on a “challenge” on MotoGP 2007.  Simple.  Complete one segment of the GP track at Mugello, Italy, in 0:38 or less to get a gold medal.  I’ve gotten all gold medals in all the challenges so far.  Hell, I got a silver on my first run-through, 41 seconds and change.  Surely I can knock off a few seconds, right?

An hour and a half later, I’d gotten it to 0:38.54, 0:38.18, and finally down to 0:38.07.  STILL NO GOLD. I kept thinking “I should go to bed, this is just pissing me off.  But I don’t WANT to go to bed all pissy; if I finally get it, I’ll at least be relieved.  And besides, now I’ve had an hour’s practice at the damned hting, what, I’m gonna come in cold and nail it tomorrow?  Better to make just one more try.  Just one more…”

Obsession.  I has it.

I finally did just give up and go to bed.  Tried it a few more times the next day, couldn’t get under 0:38.50, gave up and went on to the next thing.  And promptly found another one that I couldn’t gold-medal (speed gate at Donington).  Grrr.

To show that the weekend wasn’t a complete loss on the video game front, however, my travails have given me the bragging point of being able to say that I’m now in the top 25% of Rock Band drummers on Xbox Live.  That’s right, bitches, I’m number 23-and-what-odd thousand on the leaderboards!  4e@r my l33t sk!11$!!!   Mwuahahahahah!

Bragging about dorky accomplishments?  Yep.  Dork all the way.

But after much cajoling our son has finally started playing RB drums by himself, whereas before one of us would work the foot pedal for him.  What does that mean?  You know it.  It means we can now play as a 3-person band.  Oh hell yeah.  Fun times ahead!


10 Responses

  1. I’ve been painfully obsessing over my Guitar Hero On Tour for Nintendo DS. I think it would be so much better if my obsession could at least be with a full sized piece of equipment. Nope, instead I’m doing it with something that should fit into the palm of my hand.

    Yah, carpal tunnel syndrome and I are becoming fast friends.

    Fear of CTS is one reason I don’t play guitar or bass on GH3/RB often for very long stretches. My hands BURN when I play fast sections for a while. Especially up-stroking the bass notes. It’s much harder (for me at least) to use alternate fingers like you would on a real bass, so one finger gets worn out, I switch to the next one, it gets worn out, I switch to the third finger, then back to the index…

    On the drums, I can play for quite a while, maybe taking a short break to catch my breath after particularly fast or intricate songs. (“Dead On Arrival,” I’m looking in your direction.)

  2. um, congratulations? my snarkiness is trying to hide my jealousy. i dont have rock band or guitar hero…or an xbox 360 or a wii, or even a ps2 anymore. i traded the ps2 to a friend for some tires for my car. that’s okay though, i don’t really need one more thing to be obsessed with.

    My wife and I held out because we knew we’d be obsessed, but we finally gave in once our son started playing Rock Band in music class at school.

  3. OCD…21st century style!

    Damn skippy!

  4. Soggy pizza and chlorine. Mmmmmm.

    Maybe it’s a good thing that I haven’t played anything since Pitfall. I’m with Amy…I don’t need one more thing to be obsessed with.

    Yeah, yum yum, huh?

    I don’t need another obsession, either. Oops.

    I sometimes wonder – if, you know, I had friends…would they joyfully join in with Dys and I in our RB fever, or would they just look at us like we were nuts?

  5. Hello,
    just wanted to invite you to my blog (If I haven’t already- I have a new home)at if you needed some encouragment today.

    I thought this comment looked a little bit on the random side. Mainly I wanted to make sure it wasn’t a spam comment to some malware site so I could decide whether or not I should delete the comment to spare my readers. That’s apparently not the case.

    To my other readers, it appears that Ms. Apana is a Christian blogger, leaving comments around to encourage people to visit her blog and receive the gospel from someone “Drunk on the Holy Spirit” – which is fine, I just thought the comment was a tad obscure and so wanted to let everybody know what was up.

    To Ms. Apana: Thanks for the invitation – nice-looking blog, but I don’t think I’ll become a regular reader. Good luck to you, though.

  6. Is it sad that I completely followed and empathized with this? I’ve been to more crap showers and get togethers than I’d like to admit AND while I’m not a video gamer, I am completely obsessed with Rock Band… but I suck. I’m stuck on easy for everything except vocals. What’s the possibility of Rock Band coming out with an 80s version… complete with keyboards? I’m dying to play the Aerosmith version!!!

    Supposedly they talked keyboards for RB2 but discarded it. Too bad – that means in all likelihood no “Bohemian Rhapsody” for RB2. 😦

    As for 80s stuff, there is the downloadable album “The Cars” by, uh, The Cars. Dyskinesia says, and I thoroughly agree, that “What I Like About You” by the Romantics would be a PERFECT Rock Band song.

  7. Oh…your table is most DEFINITELY NOT just for one…

    There was a Youtube video called “Mockband” that imitated the Rockband UI but used Richard Marx’s “Right Here Waiting for You”…complete with keyboards, drum MACHINE, and cheese vocals…

    But I can’t find it now and I suspect Rockband’s creators were less than impressed.

    I’m very VERY glad there isn’t an 80’s version of Rockband. I’d look like Howard Hughes when they finally buried my self-starved butt.

    Oh man, I’d LOVE to see that Richard Marx thing! Bwahahahah!

    There are SOME 80’s things, as I said. The Cars, a few Police songs, Blondie, etc. But by and large it’s 90s-00s rock stuff.

  8. What I Like About You would indeed be an excellent song for Rock Band. So excellent, in fact, I told my brother his band should cover it for their upcoming concert (yes, it’s a real band and not a bunch of dorks playing Rock Band pretending to be in a band… like us).

    Charming: You wouldn’t be the only one who’d never see the light of day if an 80s version came out. Maybe the good folks at EA know this and are trying to proactively save thousands of marriages / relationships and careers by NOT producing one.

    Hell, my roommate and I used to whip out the acoustics and do “What I Like About You” at parties in our dorm. Can’t get much more simple, but it still makes people happy! Good times.

  9. Trust me, you are nowhere close to the VG dorks that I hang out with, and the one that I live with. I love, LOVE, playing Guitar Hero, but I have struggled mightily with the fact that I canNOT get my stupid fingers to adjust to playing the stupid fifth orange button, no matter how much I “practice”. Hence, Hard is completely barred to me.

    I sulked about this for a while until I remembered that it’s a game, and for me to be frustrated and hurt (yes, hurt; my self-esteem was actually taking a hit) about the fact that I can’t do any better than Medium. Then I realized that I really liked playing on Medium, that I was getting to the point where I could actually sing along while I was playing (I am so uncoordinated that this is a major accomplishment), and that how much I rocked depended only on how much fun I was having, not whether I could hit the orange button or not. Medium is the best I can do, and the most fun I can have, and I’ve made my peace with that.

    PS: Pammy and Charming, you know that there’s an all-80’s Guitar Hero, right? It’s got some pretty awesome songs on it.

    If you can sing and play at the same time, you’re doing better than I am – that just requires a level of mental ambidexterity that I clearly do not possess!

  10. *for me to be frustrated and hurt…about the fact that I can’t do any better than Medium was dumb. Oops, forgot my predicate.

    Heh, yep, I’ve done that!

    Thanks for commenting, stop on by again!

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