Reverse Chivalry Ain’t Dead

I was just leaving my building when a young lady ahead of me walked through the door, saw me coming, and with a big smile held the door for me.  I hustled a bit through the door, smiled back at her, and thanked her for doing so.  She went one way and I went the other.

But I thought:  You know, I can’t remember the last time a woman I didn’t know held a door for me.  That was really nice of her.  I’m betting the big smile was because she knew she was being considerate, and it made her feel good.  In which case, bravo for her!  It’s surely made my day so far.


As a caveat, though, I was leaving the building because I had to walk across campus.  And whoa.  I may be a Southern boy born and bred, but some days you just gotta say:  “DAMN it’s hot.”  And gonna get hotter.  And my building is cool enough inside that all the womenfolk are wearing sweaters.  (Me being me, I think it’s perfect.)  Wonder how much energy it’s taking to keep a building this big this cool?  Glad it’s not MY electric bill.


8 Responses

  1. I call that ‘common decency’ – of course, chivalry be damned, I do it all the time for anyone.

    One of the reasons I got so freaky about you always doing it for me: I never got to do it for you!

    Yeah, well, “common decency” is anything but common nowadays, babe. You gotta admit that. So two thumbs up to the nice young lady, I hope the karmic powers are kind to her today.

  2. It’s amazing how as a society we’ve come to find simple gestures as holding a door for someone as unique. Just yesterday I was leaving for lunch and I went back to hold the door open for a pizza guy going into the building. He thanked me like I’d just given him $100.

    What can I say, we definitely live in a me-first society these days.

  3. Helping people, no matter how small, is easier for me than letting someone help me. I have never been comfortable in accepting any help.

    Maybe this lady thought you were old and she was just helping an “old man” not struggle with the door!

    The latter DEFINITELY crossed my mind! Although I was wearing jeans and I had put on my cap just before she turned around, so I’m not sure my decrepitude was THAT obvious at the time…

  4. I find myself holding doors open for people all the time, like when I’m at the mall or something. I love it, the older people are always doing double takes like they can’t believe a girl with tattoos, piercings and flaming red hair is holding the door open for them. Guys (except for teenagers) always tend to look a little embarrassed that I’m the one holding the door for them. Mothers with kids in tow or strollers always look like they want to cry with relief. And the girls (girl being anyone younger than me), well they’re just ungrateful little c****.

    Excellent point about the non-traditional looking person being courteous. I used to make a point to do that back when I had long hair, too. Like you said, sometimes the older people didn’t know what to think.

  5. I hold doors and I take people’s shopping carts back up to the grocery store for them if they are finishing up with them when I’m walking up to a store. (This is more for me because errant carts in parking lots drive me absolutely batshit!) One guy who was probably my age said “Wow! Thanks kid!”

    At the drive-thru at the coffee place I go, people sometimes pay for the car behind them. It was the funniest thing when it happened to me because, in turn, I paid for the guy’s coffee behind me. They tell me people do it there all the time and that once four people in a row paid for the car behind them. It was nice. 🙂

    Yes, the carts left in the parking lot Drive. Me. CRAZY. I took one in yesterday afternoon – I was just stopping for a gallon of milk since Dys called to say we were out, but some jackhole had left a cart completely blocking someone’s car in. On a blacktop parking lot on a day when the heat index was over 100, I know it sucks, but suck it up and take it to the cart corral, or you’ll just make someone ELSE’s day that much worse.

    I love that tidbit about the coffee shop, that’s just awesome.

  6. I meet girls who get SO pissed when guys hold the door, ’cause they don’t think they NEED that, but it’s not about needing it…it’s nice…and vice versa it is also nice…I hold doors all the time for dudes if I’m ahead; no skin off my back and we usually exchange smiles too (one of these days I pray it’s a super-hottie, hahaha 😉 (

    Keep doing it. Had I been single – and within 10 years of her age (mutter mutter) that little bit of kindness and the big smile she gave me would DEFINITELY have had me asking her number.

    Correction – if I’d been single, within 10 years of her age, and had a spine. Grumble.

    But seriously, it was a nice moment, it made me smile, and two people smiling at each other is about as good a way as I can think of to get things started.

  7. I don’t like for a door to slap me in the face, or for me to inflict a door slap on anybody else. To that end, I will hold a door for all who enter.

    Yes, it is freaking hot.

    Bravo, and heck yes it’s hot! Looks like we’ll get a break after midweek, though.

  8. Quit your bitching. I don’t have AC in my apartment and my sheets are now officially the grossest thing on the planet.

    I’ve had that happen, but only temporarily. Well, since my freshman year of college, at least. THAT was a fun few weeks in August and September.

    “Throw the 18-year-old males, out of mom & pop’s roof for the first time and drunk half the time, into a small unairconditioned space with no decent TV reception and just let ’em percolate for a while. What could go wrong?”

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