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My new life as an online gamer

Such as it is, and is going to be, which probably ain’t very much.

As Dyskinesia mentioned yesterday, we finally took the plunge with our new Xbox 360 and signed up for a Live account. Really all we wanted to do was be able to buy new songs for Rock Band and Guitar Hero (Woohoo for “Saints of Los Angeles!”), and that’s basically available for free as an Xbox Live “Silver” account.  But we had a free 1-month trial of the full “Gold” account which allows you to do actual online gaming and stuff, so we figured we may as well try it.

The first thing you have to do is pick a gamertag.  Okay, no problem.  I asked if she cared.  “Nah,” she said, “go for it.”  So I thought, what the hell, I might as well make my gamertag “Taoist Biker.”  That way, since we had online gaming active for the time being and may reactivate it in the future, I could actually play games with some of my readers.  (I suck at pretty much everything, you guys could have great fun at my expense.)  Whattaya know, “Taoist Biker” wasn’t taken!  So I’m golden.

Except after I got to the very end, entering all my billing info and setting passwords and all that standard shit, I found that it changed my console profile name to match my gamertag.  In other words, whereas Dys, our son and I had had simple profiles that gave each of our first names, now it was “Wife,” “Son,” and “Taoist Biker” for gamer profiles on the console.  Every time someone wanted to sign in and play, that’s what they’d see.

NOT COOL with me.  My son is going to be playing this thing anytime someone’s over.  My parents, my in-laws, our friends, my son’s friends, everybody could potentially see that.  And I didn’t exactly want any of them googling the phrase “Taoist Biker” and associating that with me.  Nuh-uh.  So, immediately I tried to change it.  Luckily, I could – for 800 Microsoft Points (real world equivalent of about $10).

Bastard coated bastards with bastard filling.

I was pissed, and Dys was BEYOND pissed.  Less than 5 minutes after creation, that they didn’t have any sort of warning of “Oh, this will change your local profile name,” I had to pony up some extra dough?  Not cool.  And my complaint to that effect to Microsoft’s Xbox Live support team predictably received a non-responsive response.

Anyway, I changed it to be less curiosity-raising amongst my son’s friends and others.  If any of you regulars are active Xbox Live gamers, holler at me and I’ll keep that in mind when the Gold trial period dies and I decide whether or not to re-up.  But for the present, sadly, there probably won’t be any online challenging of TB.


7 Responses

  1. “Bastard coated bastards with bastard filling.”

    Is my favorite insult of day.

    That is quite the bitch ass scam they have going there.

    Totally stolen from John C. McGinley as Dr. Cox on “Scrubs.”

  2. “Bastard coated bastards with bastard filling.”

    BWA! I’m using that for a future tagline.

    Yeah, we signed up for Xbox Live too, and pretty much ONLY use it to download songs for Rockband. It’s a total ripoff, plus the system wouldn’t accept our credit card information so we had to go to Circuit City and buy $50 of points then turn around and enter the code on the back of the card into Xbox Live. WAY too much effort for me. They prey upon the fact that a lot of gamers are so very much into the games they play that they’ll fork out the extra dough.

    Heh, since that’s back to back comments on the “bastards” quote, I’ll post the source material. Here’s Dr. Cox doing it his way.

    Dys looked up the Live Leaderboard on her favorite song ( “Dani California” ) and, with a little more practice and effort, we could maybe crack the board at #100,000.

    I dunno, if my old college buddies had Live accounts then it would be worth it to play Madden or NCAA football and talk smack like we used to do with Ye Olde Tecmo. I wouldn’t mind playing with people I already know, but I’m not so big on just stepping out there and having the legions of dipwad 12-year-olds in my headset as they school me on Halo.

  3. Totally not stolen! You found a perfect opportunity to use a quote and ran with it. As you know, good writers don’t steal they borrow.

    Scrubs does have some hot damn writing.

    Yes, they do!

  4. That is an excellent quote! I won’t be challenging you on the Xbox as I am still stuck in the Atari-pong world. 😀

    Not a thing wrong with that! My wife and I are notorious…we have the 360, our old Xbox, an N64 that my brother traded us for one of our two Super Nintendos (and we kept the other.) If we had a regular old NES and a 2600 we’d be set. And my wife DOES still have her 2600 at her parents’ house…if she could sneak it out of there without my mother-in-law knowing, you bet your ass she would.

  5. Someone recently gave me one of these:


    I didn’t open it but it seems like a full box. I’m not much of a player but some of my closest friends are! One guy gets two version of each system he buys in case of mishap.

    Hmm. That sounds a wee bit excessive. We had two Super Nintendos because the wife and I each had one when we started shackin’ up. We now have two Xboxes (not counting the 360) because…well, to be perfectly blunt, a few years back it looked like we might separate, so I bought a used one to act as a combination game system/DVD player if I had to get my own place.

    We ended up keeping it because, for some reason, a few of the dinged-up games we’ve bought used will NOT play on our “main” system but would work just fine on the “backup.”

    Awesome catch with the old Power Pack!

  6. Now I’m curious about the bastard filling…its it more chocolately or lemony? Actually, no way it can be good…so it must be rhubarb, or something equally crazy.

    That is crazy. I would have been ticked too. Ten freaking dollars to change a name. Sheesh.

    Don’t count on a match-up with me anytime soon though…I haven’t played anything since Pitfall on the Atari in 1985 or something like that.

    We have a few Xbox games that are collections of old arcade games…I think we have some version of Pitfall, even!

    And there are several VERY simple games that are still a ton of fun. Check out this trailer for Lego Star Wars, for example. My wife is absolutely addicted to this game, and she’s nowhere near the SW geek that I am. (More the Lego geek, though, definitely.)

  7. Yeah, XBox got us on that one too. I wanted the account so I could do more stuff with my Hitman games and my husband could have cared less. I set everything up and discovered what it did to our previously existing gamer tags. I was livid, he could have cared less. I think his lack of outrage only made me angrier and led to a potentially abusive phone call to Microsoft. Fricken Bill Gates.

    Damn skippy.

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