Crosstown Traffic

C’mon, sing some Jimi with me!

Driving through morning rush hour traffic with two autistic/Aspie boys is an interesting experience. Especially when they suddenly decide that the rules of the road need to be enforced. The only way Aspies know how: to the letter of the law, brothers, to the letter of the law.

“That guy turned on red!”
“Well, it’s okay to turn right on red-means-stop. But [grandpa] sometimes goes straight on red-means-stop! He might need to pay a ticket and go to Time Out!”
“AAAH! That guy in the Celica is SPEEDING! I might need to become a Police Boy and give him a ticket!”
“He’s speeding?”
“Yes, I need to take his car away!”
“Yeah, and take it to the junk yard!”
“No, I’ll take it and I’ll drive it, so when people try to speed away from me I will catch them!”

Okay, so twenty or thirty minutes of that can be amusing. But then:

“Dad, are you speeding?”
“Nope, son, I’m not speeding. Nope. Not speeding at all.”
“Why was that number on that speed-limit sign blinking red?”
“Uhh, I don’t know, son.”

Well, in my defense, the friend’s mom was late getting him to me this morning. And while yes, I may eventually be going to hell for lying to two autistic boys, I know that if I’d said “Yes, I’m speeding just a little bit” I would have definitely earned twenty minutes of hell this morning.


9 Responses

  1. Ah, kids.

    Yep. I’ll loan you mine for the next few months if you’d like…

  2. I think you should have told them the sign was broken.

    Good plan!

  3. Future lawyers?

    Given my son’s obsessive love of cars, I’m actually hoping he goes to engineering school and ends up working in the design department of Ferrari or someplace.

  4. Sure, bring him on. I can handle an 8 year old. It’s the 22 year old ones I have a hard time with! LOL.

    Heheheh! I dunno, he’s probably more persistent. He won’t be demanding sex every hour, but he WILL demand snacks every twenty minutes.

  5. I would be in so much trouble if they ever saw me while I was driving.

    Police Boy would be demanding your wicense and wegistwation.

  6. Rules are rules! But, to this question,

    “Why was that number on that speed-limit sign blinking red?”

    I would have answered,

    “Those signs tell you the speed the driver behind you is going so you know if they’re breaking the law.”

    Then I would have turned up the radio.

    I had the radio turned off because my son’s friend has loud-sound issues (typical of Aspies) and I don’t think he’d like my Swedish black metal CD that was in the player. But on the other hand, maybe it would be a strong dissuader. “Oh yeah? Insinuate about my driving, huh?” *BADOOM*

  7. That’s what I’m saying! Can’t let ’em slip insinuation in. Once they start sliding those bad boys in it’s only a matter of time before they’re picking on your clothes and commenting on your hairline!

    Nip it, nip it in the bud, Bud!

    Well, I already nipped the hairline in the bud – so there ain’t one!

  8. LOL!!! I have twin almost-8-year-old girls… yeah. I get it. LOL!!!

    They were at it again today, actually. Maybe I should blog it again…

  9. […] Taoist Biker under Life and other states of existence, Parenting   My son and his friend were at it again this […]

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