Thanksgiving in snippets

“Oh shit.”
“What do you mean, ‘oh shit?'”
“That recipe I mailed to half a dozen people?  I think I wrote down 1/2 a cup of crushed pecans instead of 1-2 cups.”
“Oh shit.”

“Yes, I know Uruks are dirty, son.  But you can still kill people when you’re clean, I promise.  Now go take a bath.”

“What do you know, the hacksaw worked!”
“You’re such my fucking hero.”

“C’mon, Dad, I just want to say hi to you!”
“You want to say ‘hi’ with that rocket launcher.  I’m not falling for THAT one again.”

“AAAAH!  Who blew up my vehicle?!?”
“It wasn’t me.  It was your dad.  Wait a second, what are you doi…”
*BOOM*

Sign:
“10% off when
you come
see Allison”

My wife (reading the sign):  “10% off when you come.  See Allison.”

(two minutes after the above)  “I swear, I need a voice recorder.  Just to carry around for just this purpose.”

“I’m his daddy.  I’m an Uruk, but he’s not scared of me, because I’m nice to him.”

“When I came home, Bill was outside, putting up MORE Christmas lights.”
“God almighty.”

“Look at THAT shot!  Got him completely in the air, sideways.”

“What do you think?  Do I look like Captain Jack?”
*rolling eyes*

“I think my new hat is cute.”
“Mom!  You look like one of those Bratz girls!”
*dying in laughter*  “Is that good or bad?”

“Sim…ply.  Haaaa-ving.  A wonderful Christmastime.”
“I.  Am going.  To kill you.”

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One Response

  1. LOL! All of those are AWESOME! Dude, you really do need to take a recorder around with you for doing these great little snippets. I vote for a weekly snippet blog from you! 😀

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