Taoist Biker FAQ

Who are you?

I’m TB, a 35-year-old husband and father of one. Here I am, as usual fractured yet centered.

I like motorcycling, motorcycle racing (especially MotoGP), music (especially metal), video games, the outdoors, and long walks on the beach. And I’m the only person I know who practices my particular brand of motorcycle Taoism.

Where are you?

At work. Why?

I’m a Virginian-in-exile, actually. After spending most of my life on what little was left of my ancestral land in Virginia, I got married and moved with my wife to her native home in the Midwest. After a few years, we scurried like hell back out of there. As for where I am now, I’ll just say that I’m in the Eastern time zone and folks speak with a Southern accent. I’m most comfortable under those circumstances.

What do you do?

I have a non-teaching job at a medium-sized university. I don’t write about it just because I can’t find a single damned way to make it interesting.

Why the anonymity?

Well, fear of being dooced would be the obvious answer. But mainly I find the anonymity frees me to write what’s on my mind without worrying about what people think of me. I wouldn’t want my grandparents to read a lot of what I write, and I don’t necessarily want everybody I work with to know that when a Ducati gets scratched, I cry like Bambi’s mother just got shot.

Motorcycles, huh?

Yep. Motorcycles.

John Krewson put it fantastically in a review of the game Tourist Trophy on the Onion AV Club:

It’s like this with motorcycles: The sight of them makes your heart leap within you, and the act of riding them transfixes your very soul with a joy so keen that you feel filled with an angelic living light. Or, alternately, your friend’s uncle Ernie died on one and you think they should be illegal. They’re that kind of thing.

I’m definitely in the former camp. My wife is in the middle. My mother’s firmly entrenched in the latter. But she’s learned to deal.

I write about a lot more than motorcycling, but I’ll admit, if you’re a motorcycle hater, you may not like this blog very much.

What kind of bike do you ride, man?

Well, none, anymore. I had a Suzuki SV650, but I crashed it. It sucked. But gear is your friend – riding leathers (literally) saved my ass. I haven’t replaced it because money is tight, and because the circumstances of the crash scared the ever-loving shit out of my wife, and she needs time to get over it. (Imagine getting a phone call from your husband saying he’s crashed his motorcycle, then losing the signal and not getting it back, and not seeing him until an hour later. How would you feel?)

What’s a “Taoist Biker?”

Well, I’m not really much of a Taoist, or even technically still a biker. But I believe that there are ways in which people can reach a different state of awareness, and for me, motorcycling has been one of those ways. I talk more about Taoist Biking in my first post.

Where can I learn more about Taoism?

Well, read the Tao Te Ching, of course. My favorite is the Stephen Mitchell translation. But personally I think you learn most about Taoism by reading the Tao Te Ching once, and then just sitting outside someplace quiet and observing what happens. To me, the Tao is all about harmony. To live in harmony, you must first learn to quiet yourself down enough to listen to what the Tao is trying to tell you. That’s much, much easier said than done. At least it is for me.

What’s your comment policy?

I welcome comments, including those that express viewpoints in opposition to my own, as long as they’re respectful to me and to your fellow commenters. Disrespect to other commenters will earn my animosity even faster than the same disrespect directed toward me, so be warned.

Oh, and “First!” posts aren’t tolerated. What, do you yell “First!” after you prematurely ejaculate, too?

When you ate your FAQ, how did it taste?

Like slightly burned whole wheat bread.  It was weird.  I don’t recommend it.