Yesterday turned out to be even more chaotic work-wise than I had thought – and today, WHOA, I knew was going to be such but it is exceeding my expectations in a big way.
I knew the right thing to do yesterday was post and walk away from it for a good long while. I intended to get back to it – but I never had a chance to do so when I was in the right frame of mind and felt like I had the time to sit down and give your comments all of the attention they deserved. The result is that it’s over 24 hours later and I still haven’t even glanced at them at all – although I read and responded to one tweet and a handful of emails that you guys were wonderful enough to send. (Including you, completely random reader who told a story of how I wasn’t alone – thank you so much for that.)
It turned out that yesterday was my biggest day of hits in a long time, only rivaled by days in which I posted more than once. I imagine that most of that was you guys coming back to see what each other had written – and that is awesome.
You see, as I told my emailers, I was feeling really fucked up when I started writing…but I knew that writing it, and admitting weakness and fear, was an avenue to claiming strength and courage. I knew that writing about how much of a struggle it would be, and how seriously I would take it, would make it okay to struggle with it.
And I knew that I had a whole load of people to back me up. I didn’t need to look at the comments to know that. That’s another reason I knew I could say what I wanted to and come out the other side better than before. And I did – as I suspected, writing my way through it was a huge fucking weight off of my shoulders. There are other weights, and many of those I still plan to keep private for now, but every one shed is a blessing. And thanks to all of you for that.
I’m leaving tonight for a conference – a few nights of no-roommate-hotel-room solitude would be GREAT if I didn’t have to be professional and presentable during the day, but it still beats a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. So I’ll likely be out of touch again for most or all of the next several days, but hopefully this is the end of my WORK insanity, so I can focus more on my personal insanity for a while. Thanks again, folks – for everything.
Now to go and read the comments!